Here's an honest look into my mind during this adoption.
From the beginning of this journey I have had this desire to paint a different, more positive picture of the adoption process. I think I had the same goal with my pregnancy with Stevie. I had heard so many expectant mothers complain for 9 long months about the burdens of pregnancy, only to end in a horror story of their dreaded labor and delivery. I wanted people to see our pregnancy and note what a blessing and miracle children are, and the way the Lord brings them into the world. Thankfully, I had a wonderful pregnancy, followed by an easy delivery. I had several people tell me that they now were excited, instead of afraid, about becoming a mother.
Mission accomplished.
Now with this adoption, I had hoped for the same outcome. We wanted people to follow our journey and see what a wonderful process it can be. This is the main reason we started this blog. We wanted people to be encouraged to add to their family through adoption after seeing what a delightful experience we had.
Fail.
Today marks a year of our pursuit of our little boy. If you know us well, you know that it has been a year full of sorrow, disappointment and quite a few let downs. It hasn't all been bad. This year we met our son, fell in love with him and have met many new friends that share our passion for orphans. However it has not been the joy ride that I had hoped to portray.
This is not the picture that I wanted you to see, however, I am certain that it is the picture that the Lord had for you. If adoption were easy, it wouldn't resemble His pursuit of us, His adopted children. If it didn't cost us anything, it wouldn't reflect His sacrifice. Adoption is a beautiful, painful picture of God's love for us. We can look at this and delight in His desire to be our Father.
One day I will be able to tell Stevie about her birth. How I carried her for months and in a seemingly unnatural way, helped her come into the world. What if I had no story to tell my son? "I sent a few bucks to an agency, asked for a brown child, and you arrived at our door a few days later." The story that our Father has given us, much more accurately exemplifies our longing for Silas.
We hope that this is still an encouraging story. And to be honest, we hope it's over soon. Thank you for praying for our family. Please don't stop. We will try to update you soon with some better news.
"He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will"
Ephesians 1:5