Friday, March 18, 2011

It's just not that easy.

As you've probably heard, Gabe and I had a court date today that was a bit disappointing. We are still missing a letter from MOWA that is needed for us to pass court. We are hopeful that our letter will be written sometime next week so that we will instantly pass. If it is not ready next week, we will apply for another court date, which would be in one or two months.

Here's an honest look into my mind during this adoption.

From the beginning of this journey I have had this desire to paint a different, more positive picture of the adoption process. I think I had the same goal with my pregnancy with Stevie. I had heard so many expectant mothers complain for 9 long months about the burdens of pregnancy, only to end in a horror story of their dreaded labor and delivery. I wanted people to see our pregnancy and note what a blessing and miracle children are, and the way the Lord brings them into the world. Thankfully, I had a wonderful pregnancy, followed by an easy delivery. I had several people tell me that they now were excited, instead of afraid, about becoming a mother.

Mission accomplished.

Now with this adoption, I had hoped for the same outcome. We wanted people to follow our journey and see what a wonderful process it can be. This is the main reason we started this blog. We wanted people to be encouraged to add to their family through adoption after seeing what a delightful experience we had.

Fail.

Today marks a year of our pursuit of our little boy. If you know us well, you know that it has been a year full of sorrow, disappointment and quite a few let downs. It hasn't all been bad. This year we met our son, fell in love with him and have met many new friends that share our passion for orphans. However it has not been the joy ride that I had hoped to portray.

This is not the picture that I wanted you to see, however, I am certain that it is the picture that the Lord had for you. If adoption were easy, it wouldn't resemble His pursuit of us, His adopted children. If it didn't cost us anything, it wouldn't reflect His sacrifice. Adoption is a beautiful, painful picture of God's love for us. We can look at this and delight in His desire to be our Father.

One day I will be able to tell Stevie about her birth. How I carried her for months and in a seemingly unnatural way, helped her come into the world. What if I had no story to tell my son? "I sent a few bucks to an agency, asked for a brown child, and you arrived at our door a few days later." The story that our Father has given us, much more accurately exemplifies our longing for Silas.

We hope that this is still an encouraging story. And to be honest, we hope it's over soon. Thank you for praying for our family. Please don't stop. We will try to update you soon with some better news.

"He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will"
Ephesians 1:5

5 comments:

  1. even more so encouraging than a story with no bumps or road blocks. you know we already want to adopt, but after reading that...even more so. i'm desperate to know even a glimpse of the sacrificial love that Christ truly feels for us. thanks for being honest and sharing that with us. i love you, aunt B :)

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  2. I saw your post on facebook--I do not think we have met--but we are adopting two little girls from Ethiopia--we are in the beginning stages, but are trying not to be discouraged by the recent news there...but thank you for sharing your story--I can't wait to hear more--I'm finding more and more people adopting right now, it is such an amazingly God thing, bringing families together from all ends of the earth...all in His glory.... good luck with your court and traveling!! :)

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  3. We didn't have our letter either :(. I hope they come next week!!

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  4. This is a fantastic post, though I certainly wish you had no need to write it. I'm honored to call you guys "friend" and to be able to walk alongside you for a bit.

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  5. You guys are such an inspiration. I have enjoyed following your journey. We are praying for you guys that you will have little Silas soon. God is so good and so faithful. I love your look at pregnancy too, I was the same way with all four of mine and I had wonderful pregnancy's. Very thankful:o) Love you guys, Ms. Sheila and the Earnest Fam!!!

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