Thursday, April 7, 2011

Go ahead... ask.

Sorry that I'm so late to write about our good news, but YAY, we have good news! We passed court in Ethiopia on March 24th because of the amazing intervention of sweet friends in high places. Now that our adoption is complete we are trying to get Silas' visa so that we can go get him. I hate to throw out a time frame, but if I do, just don't hold me to it. Every time I have guessed about time, I've been very, very wrong. If I had to put money on it, I would say that we would be heading to Ethiopia at the end of this month. Then again I thought we would have this little guy home in October, so please don't get angry with me if I'm wrong.

On a slightly different subject, I've been reading a lot of adoptive mom's blogs lately, with a reoccurring subject, that I can't help but address. The blogs are entitled something like "What NOT to ask an adoptive mom" or "Offensive things to say to a transracial family". They proceed by listing several questions that the writer has deemed inappropriate. For instance...
"Which of these children are your real children?"
"Why did his REAL mother give him up?"
"Could you not have children of your own?"

or one of my personal favorites...

"What an amazing thing you have done by accepting a child like this into your home!"

These are a few examples of questions that, I must admit, make me cringe. However they also include questions that I have personally asked of an adoptive family...

"What country is your daughter from?"
"What made you decide to adopt"
"How did your extended family accept a child of a different race?"

What do all of these questions have in common? Ignorance & curiosity. Bring it on.

This IS what I want from someone who doesn't understand our family. I want them to ask. I hope to view these situations as opportunities to share about Silas' adoption into the Rosser family and (more importantly) our adoption into the Kingdom. What would Silas and Stevie learn, if every time someone asked a difficult or poorly worded question, I got offended and upset? They would learn to be easily offended. They would learn to thrive on peoples opinions of them. We have to teach them that they have a beautiful story that is worth sharing. One that God has so clearly given us for His glory. If we keep it to ourselves, no one would know!

I wrote this down because I want any of you to feel comfortable asking and saying things that are on your mind. About anything. But in all truthfulness, I wrote this as a reminder for myself. In a year or two, when I am sick of the looks and opinions of strangers, I can look back at this blog as a reminder that I have been given an opportunity. One more chance to share this story of grace. This grace that has been poured out on me. To answer one of these remarks...

What an amazing thing the Father has done by giving us the gift of this child.

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